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Colin & Tony…Go Christmas Shopping

December 20, 2008

Colin & Tony…Go Christmas Shopping

 

Looking at his watch for the third time in as many minutes, Tony Sharp began tapping his foot impatiently, thrust his hands into his pockets and glanced up and down the busy street again.  The new Christmas lights had come on and were twinkling overhead, as people scurried by, laden with their festive shopping…not a happy face in sight.  He could picture them over-indulging on too much rich food and drink, family squabbles, then veg-ing out in front of the TV, watching the usual seasonal crap!

 

Why do they repeat the same family drama year after year?  Do they think that this year is going to be different or, somehow, perfect? 

  “I’ve got news for you,” he thought to himself, “It’ll be exactly the same as last year…and the year before that!”  He smiled at the memory of the annual family visits, and shook his head.

 

He was just about to go back into the store, to look for one last present, when he caught sight of his friend, who appeared to be limping.   Then he noticed the angry scowl that showed between his unruly mop of hair and untidy birds-nest of a beard. 

  “What the fuck has happened to you, this time?” he asked, shaking his head in disbelief.  Colin muttered something under his breath, grunted, and then pulled up the leg of his well worn jeans to reveal a nasty grazed lump that was beginning to turn an ugly shade of purple.

  “Go on, how did you do that?”

  “I didn’t!”

  “What do you mean you didn’t?”

  “Exactly what I just said, I didn’t do it!”  Colin glared down the street, then continued with asperity, “Some bitch with a pushchair, piled with kids and shopping, came charging out of a shop and rammed me with the bloody thing!  And she had the nerve to swear and curse at me!!”

  “Blimey, mate…it always seems to happen to you, doesn’t it!” said Tony, shaking his head again.  He held up the couple of bags he’d already got, then continued, “I’ve already managed to find what I was looking for, so I’ve just got to get something suitable for Mum, then we can go for a coffee.  You look like you could do with one!”  Colin nodded his assent, and they turned into the brightly lit shopping centre to browse in the gaily decorated shops.

 

Half-an-hour later, having settled on a pair of pink, fluffy slippers and a bottle of her favourite tipple, they emerged and headed for the escalator up to the top level.

  “I’m bloody glad I don’t have many people to buy for, or else I’d have no dosh left for the really important thing!” said Tony with a smirk, “Yeah, going down the pub on Christmas day!”  He turned to Colin to share the joke, but Colin was nowhere to be seen.

  “Col?” Tony frowned as he stood looking up and down the mall, “Col!!  Where have you got to now?!”  He re-traced his steps to the shop they had just left and burst out laughing at the sight of the hapless Colin Brown, holding the door open as impassive shoppers sailed in and out without even acknowledging his assistance.  Grabbing his arm and dragging him away, Tony said to him, “If you’re going to hold doors open, remember that you’re only holding it open for the person behind you…unless it’s old dears!”  He let go of Colin’s arm and said, “Now I think it’s time for that coffee, don’t you?!  Come on!”

 

Sitting at a table, overlooking the atrium, they sipped their coffees as they watched the shoppers on the other two levels.  Just then, the lift doors opened, disgorging a stream of pushchairs, shopping and people, and as they filed past on their way to the counter, Tony jumped up out of his chair and cried, “Clarissa?!”  A woman stopped and turned.  Colin looked puzzled. 

  “You remember my half-sister, don’t you?  She moved away when she married that poncey footballer…wotsisname…?”

  “Oh…er, yes…”  Colin turned with some trepidation…he remembered Clarissa only too well.  How could he forget Clarissa?!  The bossy older sister of his best friend, who always insisted on joining in their games, then took over, and always tried to back the nervous Colin into a corner so that she could kiss him!  Ugh!  Why did girls always want to kiss boys?!  Why couldn’t they play their own games…with their own friends…?!!!

  “Tony?”  Clarissa abandoned the pushchair and its bewildered occupants, and threw herself into her brother’s arms, almost knocking him over.  Extricating himself from her ample embrace, he turned and said, “You remember Colin, don’t you?”

  “Of course, how could I ever forget dear Co…!”  She froze.  Colin’s look changed rapidly from trepidation, horror, anger then uncertainty in about three seconds flat.

  “You?!”

  “Colin?!”

  “What’s going on?!” demanded a puzzled Tony, looking from his friend to his sister, then back again.  Colin tugged up the leg of his jeans to reveal his injury once more.  Then Tony understood…and so did Clarissa.

  “Oh!” she cried, “I am so sorry!  I…I didn’t mean…I was angry with my ex, and he…oh, poor Colin!”

  “It…it’s OK…really.  It doesn’t hurt…much…” but before he could utter another word, he, too, found himself enfolded in her ample embrace.

  “Just like old times!” chuckled Tony.

Christmas shoppers fill the narrow streets Pictures, Images and Photos

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13 Comments leave one →
  1. Natalia permalink
    December 20, 2008 8:18 pm

    Ha! ha! Ha! and you said you couldn\’t or weren\’t able Sandi. Well done, what a charming and humourous tale about the observations of human behaviour. Happy Christmas Gal. xxx

  2. Sandi permalink
    December 20, 2008 8:29 pm

    Thank you…it were \’ard werk!! Actually, it was hard work writing it down on paper…but when I transferred it to Word, I could see it clearer…and words were able to flow.

  3. Natalia permalink
    December 20, 2008 8:59 pm

    Yes i find it easier to blog it, save it to draft and then amend as required. Good choice of picture to illustrate it too. xx

  4. Sandi permalink
    December 20, 2008 9:08 pm

    I actually wrote it using Microsoft Word, because I don\’t need to be online (our dongle thingy is timed!) When I signed in, here, I cut and pastedit…so much easier than writing it here, and wondering how long I\’ve taken!I knew the picture was York, but I thought it was the Shambles…its not, it\’s Stonegate, near the Minster. I love York…wanna go again!!

  5. Princess permalink
    December 21, 2008 9:29 am

    Brilliant Sandi! I enjoyed that! Oooh love York! Hope u have a Great day 2day! Luv PF XXX

  6. Sandi permalink
    December 21, 2008 11:47 am

    Oh, well…appreciation from two people…better than none, I suppose! I blame the new set-up, here! Updated Spaces…put the bugger back!!! I have missed other friends blogs because every comment friends make shows, so new blog entries are washed away on the tide of verbiage…so to speak!!!

  7. Princess permalink
    December 21, 2008 12:15 pm

    Yo Sandi, u can knock off people\’s comment 2 other peeps guestbooks & when they add friends, u can also knock off events etc, click on your"whats new with ur network" when that page opens click on "customise your network" there are options there with all of the boxes already ticked, click on the ticked box 2 untick any things u don\’t want 2 see on ur homepage. When u have done that, click on the blue writing just underneath it, it will opn another series of option boxes all ready ticked. These are wot u want peeps 2c about wot u do, so just untick wot u like! Hope this helps! Luv PF XXX PS..I much prefer the "old" homepage etc!!!

  8. Mike permalink
    December 21, 2008 12:37 pm

    Hiya Sandi, sorry i havn\’t been here before now….spent the evening unistalling and reinstalling McAfee software because their homepage was just coming up blank, that didn\’t work so when i went to their FAQ\’s section it said there was a problem with Windows Internet Explorer Beta 8 which interfered with the homepage (apparently they\’d known about this since it first came out, so why they didn\’t email us users, i naturally thought it was due to something i\’d messed up lol) so then had to unistall Explorer 8…..then i had an email from Microsoft saying their was a \’patch\’ that HAD to be downloaded urgently because of a serious security flaw in Explorer….well that was the final nail in my ambitions to go out and get rat arsed last night! 🙂 Pc was promptly turned off once the last task was complete and just chilled for last couple of hours of the evening! Did my xmas shopping inside one and a half hours…..kids, old dears and prams just pushed out of my way! lol xxx

  9. Pamela permalink
    December 21, 2008 4:44 pm

    Ooh!! Good reads with my morning coffee, I like it Sandi, keep `em coming.BTW, you`re right about the Updated Spaces, it did not show up.Have a great Sunday, I have two workdays, then five days off!!! unpaid : (xx

  10. Cornish permalink
    December 22, 2008 10:59 am

    Ooooh, I remember being the one with the buggy. Tis nigh on impossible to meander through crowds with one of those as no one lets you through. Tried so many times to go without kiddies but there were times when they had to go. Never gashed anyone\’s leg though!Great writing Sandi, keep it coming. xx

  11. Sandi permalink
    December 22, 2008 8:20 pm

    Will have to have a gander at my notes to see what else I can work on…though I have nothing seasonal at the moment. Hmmm will have to keep eyes and ears open for some little tit-bit to work on, won\’t I!!

  12. December 22, 2012 11:53 pm

    Great Christmas short story, thanks for ‘bothering’ my friend!

  13. June 13, 2015 1:31 pm

    It’s been far too long since I wrote anything, but a new story has started taking shape…and Colin is off to do his shopping again, this time to the supermarket! 😉

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