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Talking about Positive versus Negative

August 17, 2009

 Here is a blog entry that I should take a bit more notice of again.  What with the way things have been going at work just recently, I have felt very down and negative at times, and feel that I have been sliding back into ‘grumpy Old Git’ mode again… 


Positive versus Negative

How many people have started the day feeling energised, and positive that the day would be a good one, only to bump into an old friend or acquaintance and on asking them how they are get a whole list of every disaster that has beset them since the last time you met? (Guilty, your honour!!)  Sound familiar?  How does this make you feel?  If you are anything like me, you probably start sneaking a look at your watch and wishing you hadn’t asked! Sarcastic
Now, how would you feel if this person had said:  "Absolutely great, thanks…you?" instead of inviting you to their pity party?  I bet you would have been uplifted by the positive energy that they exuded.  Positive people are a joy to be around.
Many years ago, I was feeling particularly vulnerable and lonely, and this made me sad.  When I bumped into friends, I always had a moan about not having anyone to go out with, how lonely I was, etc., (and these days  it tends to be how I feel physically!) in the hope that they would feel sorry for me and invite me to join them.  I could never understand why no-one ever called.  This made me more depressed, and when I bumped into friends, I really had a good bitch about how unfeeling people could be.  I was so negative that I would not be surprised if they crossed to the other side of the street to avoid me!  It was a downward spiral of depression and despair…Sad  Sound familiar?
What changed me?  For me it was reading a book called ‘The Magic of Thinking Big’ by David J Schwartz.  In that book he shows us the differences between big thinkers and small thinkers.  The more I read, the more I realised that I was the latter, and that I needed to change!  I took it one step at a time, finding five things that made me smile each day, and before I knew where I was…I was smiling all the time!  ("Look at the looney…she’s always smiling!  Humour her…poor soul…!") 
Here’s what I found: when I smiled…people smiled back!  Isn’t that simple!  The more I smiled at people, the more they smiled back!  (See last comment, above…!)  It made me feel good, so I smiled more…I was on an upward spiral, and instead of giving people negative all the time, I tried being more positive.  This made others more positive, and so it got easier.
Yes, there have been times when I slid back into negaitive mode, but I was able to check myself, fire Mr Negative, and hire Mr Positive instead!  Now I see the world in colour instead of shades of grey, and it’s full of smiling faces instead of scowling faces (okay, there are plenty of scowling faces about, but I just don’t notice them anymore!)
The thing is to be ‘Positively charged’, and make those around you smile.  Good things happen to Positive people, because they focus on the good things.  When bad things happen to them, they learn lessons from them and move on, their minds tuning in to Positive things around them.
Negative people, on the other hand, have minds tuned in to every negative thing and person around them, almost ignoring anything good that comes their way.  How sad! 
So, be Positive, be Happy, and Smile all the time! Open-mouthed
46 Comments leave one →
  1. ROCKET permalink
    August 18, 2009 12:52 am

    Works for me…..I\’m smiling now! This lesson is going into my bag of tricks.

  2. Cornish permalink
    August 18, 2009 11:11 am

    Oh yeah, been there done that. Hated working in the tax office and didn\’t everyone know it!!!! Got avoided by everyone in there.Now I go into town and see the chap selling Big Issue and give him a hug when he\’s there. The last time we hugged he said something which deeply touched me. Such a simple thing to give, just like a smile, yet makes someone else happier.When my girls were younger, I bought us a windmill each and laughed as they turned in the wind and we walked through town. But the faces of those walking towards us also changed when they saw us. A smile or a hug is great medicine for all. Cheeeeese :-)Hugs and smiles via the airwaves Sandi. Thank you for reminding me. xx

  3. Sandi permalink
    August 18, 2009 2:15 pm

    It was Chip\’s, and Eileen\’s blogs that prompted me to re-visit my old blog entries, and this one kinda hit me because I\’ve been sliding back into my \’grumpy knickers\’ again!! One little smile goes a long way…(^-^)…pass it on…!!

  4. Curiosity permalink
    August 18, 2009 2:25 pm

    I used to have a little Morris Traveller, it was blue with wood trim and so cute. Every time without fail that I was out in it all I saw was people smiling when they saw it and waving, even total strangers, and other drivers would beep and smile with a thumbs up. It was all nostalgia I suppose but it was always such a friendly little car to drive around in, not presumptious or showy, just me and the car \’Millymollymandysweetassugar Candy\’ was her name! Always got lots of offers of help when I had to crank start her with the old thingy you put in the front grill and had to wind up, every one wanted to have a go at that. Good fun with that old car. Never saw a scowl or heard a bad word and people were all patient and courteous on the roads.

  5. Sandi permalink
    August 18, 2009 2:36 pm

    There are lots of things to smile about…like people walking cute little dogs, little ones doing or saying funny things, etc. Yesterday, someone was moving out of one of the flats and the ginger cat walked up to the van, while the men were indoors, looked in then hopped in for a nosey. It then went around to the side door and hopped in for a nosey…then one of the men came out and headed straight for that door…the cat shot out of the back door, then stopped at a safe distance and turned to watch him. It all looked so funny…and it\’s making me smile now, just thinking about it…!!

  6. Sandi permalink
    August 18, 2009 2:42 pm

    My ex used to have a 1965 Vauxhall Viva Deluxe….a sweet little car that had complete strangers coming up to talk about it. Like you said, Anne, a friendly little car.

  7. Eileen permalink
    August 18, 2009 4:29 pm

    Smiles are like laughter.. the best form of medicine :o)

  8. ROCKET permalink
    August 18, 2009 4:37 pm

    Wow, I\’m flattered that I inspired someone to do something not involving homicide on the highway!

  9. Eileen permalink
    August 18, 2009 4:58 pm


  10. Sandi permalink
    August 18, 2009 8:18 pm

    Hey, RM…you can never inspire me to do anything that involves homicide on the highway…road rage…whatever…as I don\’t drive!There is one thing that never ceases to amaze me about a handful of people on here, and that is how they manage to keep others uplifted and smiling even though they themselves are going through some real crappy times themselves…I salute you…!! <(-_-)

  11. Eileen permalink
    August 18, 2009 8:25 pm

    he he.. cough cough.. you may not drive a car as such.. Oh how is Robert?xXx

  12. Curiosity permalink
    August 18, 2009 8:33 pm

    Picture the scene…….Sandi and Bob coming down to stay at mine earlier in the year, my phone rings, I answer, I hear "Hello Anne, we are nearby, how do we get to yours?". Each direction I give is one they have already done albeit in the opposite direction or had passed a few times already. Sandi – back seat driver, map reader and co-ordinater all in one and perfectly relaying directions to the driver, who after all was making the decisions as to which way to turn the steering wheel!

  13. Curiosity permalink
    August 18, 2009 8:34 pm

    Now am off to watch Slumdog Millionaire, back later with my opinion maybe. G\’night all.

  14. Eileen permalink
    August 18, 2009 8:43 pm

    Lol.. it amazes me! Brian has no faith in my map reading abilities (which I may say are fantastic due to having a mother who has the homing abilities of a brick) so we ended up driving almost onto the M4 to London trying to get out of Oxford last weekend because he wouldn\’t listen to me.. hmmm… I think I\’ve trained him for future

  15. Sandi permalink
    August 18, 2009 8:52 pm

    LOL! Some years ago, my ex and I went to Leeds on a business trip. We picked our sponsor, and proceeded to try and find our destination…the map looked simple enough, but the one-way systems had us going round and round in circles. After about the third time round, I suggested we stop at the taxi rank and ask a taxi driver for directions…you can imagine how that went down!! (Shock! Horror!!)

  16. Eileen permalink
    August 18, 2009 8:59 pm

    Ha ha ha.. men asking for directions? good grief woman! that\’s dangerous talk that!

  17. Sandi permalink
    August 18, 2009 9:19 pm

    Quite! After a while of going round and round, they eventually got fed up, either with me telling them to ask a taxi driver, or they were getting dizzy! They actually paid a taxi driver to take us to where we wanted to be!! Doh!!

  18. simon permalink
    August 18, 2009 9:38 pm

    As a professional Bus Driver- I was always happy to ask the customers where I should go. They where always clear in telling me. Sometimes quite positively 😉 (it\’s down to how you ask) I\’ve enjoyued this blog, the comments even more so. Thanks again Sandi

  19. Sandi permalink
    August 18, 2009 10:10 pm

    You\’re welcome my dear…there are some more in a similar vein…from 2006…Release Your Inner Goddess…just a mo, let me check…

  20. ROCKET permalink
    August 18, 2009 10:12 pm

    I drove a taxi for several months before a rather nasty peiece of mail arrived. It was an invitation from my Uncle Sam. He wanted me to join the Professional Camping Club (US ARMY) on an all expense paid trip to beautiful southeast Asia where I could interact with indigenous personnel who would do their level best to kill me unless I killed them first. My taxi driver training came in handy as I told the Army recruiter where he could go and what he could do with his Camping Club but I digress.During my brief career as a taxi driver I asked for direction quite often. I even followed some of them…..if I had to.OH MY GOD; YOU AREN\’T ABOUT TO RELEASE SIMON\’S INNER GODDESS ARE YOU? THERE ARE CHILDREN PRESENT!!!

  21. Sandi permalink
    August 18, 2009 10:12 pm

    LMAO!!! May 2006…this blog…and right underneath it is…you\’ll never guess…!!! ROFL!!!!

  22. Sandi permalink
    August 18, 2009 10:13 pm

    …Waiting For A Bus…LOL!!!

  23. Sandi permalink
    August 18, 2009 11:30 pm

    Oh. Well…I thought it was funny…. (@_@)

  24. ROCKET permalink
    August 18, 2009 11:34 pm

    I thought it was funny as well…..once I went back and looked again. Sorry, Sandi. I\’m working on another historical post and what\’s left of my mind was occu[ied with that and making supper at the same time.

  25. Sandi permalink
    August 19, 2009 12:16 am

    You can multi-task? I\’m impressed…I wish I could multi-task. If I\’m doing toast and Robert talks to me…I burn my toast!!! If he asks me to do something, I do it, but if he asks me to do two things…the first thing is totally forgotten. I guess you could say I have a one-track mind…literally!!I look forward to reading your next historical post, Chip…I love learning about other people\’s local history. I\’m afraid I don\’t have my history head on at the moment, so my next installment will have to wait.

  26. ROCKET permalink
    August 19, 2009 1:34 am

    Yeah, I can multi-task, I just can\’t spell. At the moment I\’m writing 2 blog posts, listening to music, wandering around Spaces and watching TV.

  27. Sandi permalink
    August 19, 2009 10:54 am

    Good grief…one at a time, please!!! (I should have been a man!) I bet you can understand the \’conversation\’ when a bunch of people are all talking at once…I certainly can\’t!! My brain hurts now!!!! (#_#)

  28. simon permalink
    August 19, 2009 11:09 am

    RM- Man with Intelligence Applied Capabilities. (Maniac)

  29. Eileen permalink
    August 19, 2009 12:51 pm

    Still boggling at the thought of Simon releasing his inner goddess!! Oh er ;o)

  30. Sandi permalink
    August 19, 2009 3:15 pm

    He seems to be ignoring those comments regarding his inner goddess…is there something that he\’s not telling us do you think…?!Am trying to write another blog regarding costumes, as it\’s only four weeks until the promenade, and I have started a group on Friends Reunited for costume lovers everywhere.There…posted it!

  31. Eileen permalink
    August 19, 2009 3:29 pm

    Lol.. maybe after the van has gone and he wins the lottery he\’ll open up his inner goddess?

  32. simon permalink
    August 19, 2009 11:31 pm

    To tell the truth. I used to say that inside this mans body is a trapped raging lesbian-could you help me come out. It never got me any dates so I gave up on that line. sorry no inner goddess – not with these flaws.

  33. ROCKET permalink
    August 20, 2009 1:41 am

    Great minds think alike. That never worked for me either. Honest; I really did try it, especially after a few beers.

  34. Sandi permalink
    August 20, 2009 9:28 am

    I think most men have tried that line…!

  35. Eileen permalink
    August 20, 2009 9:31 am

    So true Sandi! It\’s when you say so am I that they\’re either stuck for words or offer to watch

  36. Sandi permalink
    August 20, 2009 9:50 am

    Well, let them watch the trolls then…eeeew!!!

  37. Eileen permalink
    August 20, 2009 10:02 am

    EW!!!! That\’s nasty!

  38. Curiosity permalink
    August 20, 2009 10:23 am

    eeewwww!! from me too.

  39. Sandi permalink
    August 20, 2009 11:23 am

    Poor Glynis (ground floor) gave me a look and said I should hear it when their bed springs are going it some!! They keep her awake. No thank you!!!!

  40. Eileen permalink
    August 20, 2009 11:27 am

    Oh that is just wrong!!

  41. Sandi permalink
    August 20, 2009 12:06 pm

    What people do in their own homes is their own business, but when it causes problems for their neighbours that\’s another matter! But how to you broach the subject to…well…you know…!

  42. ROCKET permalink
    August 20, 2009 12:58 pm

    EEEEWWWWWW!! Who wants to wwach the trollls? That\’s just EEEEWWWWW!!! Give us a break ladies……I was only 15!

  43. Eileen permalink
    August 20, 2009 12:59 pm

    RM – TMI!!!!!!

  44. Sandi permalink
    August 20, 2009 1:40 pm

    Men and their fantasies…can get them into trouble…LOL! They want girl on girl action…and they end up with the trolls…LMAO!!!!!!

  45. Sandi permalink
    August 20, 2009 1:40 pm


  46. Eileen permalink
    August 20, 2009 2:24 pm

    Lol.. you say that Sandi.. most men dream of girl on girl action.. but in reality? I\’m sure they wouldn\’t want to be shown just how wrong they really are in \’that\’ department! I don\’t get it to be honest.. I\’m far too greedy when it comes to those sort of antics and I\’m buggered if I\’m going to share my man!

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