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Colin Brown’s Trolley Dash

November 11, 2018

Pale autumn sunshine fought its way into the shabby room through grimy windows, highlighting piles of dusty clutter. A sprawling figure picked up the tv remote, killed the credits, and hauled himself upright. Wandering into the kitchenette, he opened the cupboard door, stared blankly at a handful of out-of-date packets and a couple of tins of cheap baked beans, then looked into the similarly stocked fridge, and back to the cupboard again. ‘Time to go shopping.’ he thought, as he reached for a battered tea caddy, which contained what little cash he had left.

Arriving at the supermarket, Colin Brown rummaged in his pockets, found a pound coin, and collected his trolley, but as he was about to enter the store he noticed that one of the wheels was wonky, and stopped dead, wondering what to do about it. The man behind almost walked into him, and scowled as he dodged past…Colin didn’t notice. Instead, he did an about-turn, swinging his trolley round and almost knocking an elderly lady flying, which caused the people around him to tut, and exclaim in disgust at how careless some people were!

Back at the bay, he returned the trolley and collected his coin. Undecided as to what to do next, he noticed a couple who were headed back to their car, their trolley running smoothly, so he waited until they had offloaded, and almost ran to the next bay to grab it before anyone else did. Happily, Colin returned to the store and managed to get his shopping without further incident…that was until the wheel jammed as he was about to turn into the next aisle.

Shopping almost done, he decided that he could afford a couple of cans of beer, so he headed for the beer aisle, but stopped suddenly, the handle connecting abruptly with his midriff. Cursing under his breath, he gave it a shove, and it released, so he continued on his way.

Beer chosen, and stowed in his trolley, he headed for the checkouts, but as he was about to turn into the main aisle the wheel jammed again.

Oh shit!” he exclaimed, as he pushed and pulled to try and release it. It didn’t budge. He was beginning to get annoyed, so he gave it one hard shove…it released, shot forward and knocked the elderly lady, that he’s narrowly missed previously, flying across the floor, her basket and shopping spinning in all directions.

Oh, my god! You idiot!” and similar shocked exclamations came from the people in the vicinity, who quickly ran to the lady’s assistance, as a red stain began to seep through her coat. Colin was just as shocked as he stuttered an apology, which sounded feeble to his own ears, as well as everyone else’s, and he stood rooted to the spot, not knowing what to do, as shoppers looked at him in disgust.

The…the wheel jammed…I’m sorry…it…it was an accident…I…”

You should be ashamed of yourself!”

Knocking old ladies over…whatever next!”

Running his hands through his unruly hair, colour beginning to rise, along with his temper, he blurted “I told you, it was an accident…the wheel jammed!”

There’s no need to take that attitude with me, young man!” barked an upright, elderly gent, whose wife was trying to sooth the dazed woman on the floor, and get her to wait for a paramedic.

Just then the manager arrived with a security guard in tow, but before he could open his mouth people were crowding round telling their version of how Colin had knocked the poor lady flying, then tried to flee the scene, which Colin hotly denied. He stepped back, raising his hands in order to quiet the crowd, and in that moment moaning and grunting was heard. All eyes turned to where the ‘victim’ was attempting to get up, but was being restrained by the well-meaning ladies who tended her, telling her to sit still, as she had had a terrible shock.

The manager nodded to the security chap, who marched forward and man-handled the old lady to her feet, amid shocked gasps from all, as a strange green stain also began to seep through her coat.

Hello, Cyril, fancy seeing you here!” more stunned gasps from the crowd as the manager stepped forward and pulled off his wig. “This, ladies and gentlemen, is a shoplifter that we have been trying to catch for the past couple of months. Take him to the office, Dave, the police are on their way”

Er…what about this one?” asked a burly lad who held Colin in a vice-like grip.

Ah, yes, we have you to thank for apprehending our miscreant. Come with me, young man.” Colin shook himself free, squared his shoulders, and followed the manager without looking back, relieved that the old lady wasn’t really an old lady.

Waiting for his taxi home, paid for by the manager, along with several bags bulging with shopping, he couldn’t help but smile that the day had turned out much better than he thought possible. Just when he thought his day couldn’t get any worse, and he thought that he’s almost killed a poor old lady, it turned out that he had caught the thief, instead, and had been rewarded handsomely. Then, his belly rumbled loudly, reminding him that he hadn’t eaten since breakfast, and his problem now was deciding what to have.

grocery cart with item

Photo by Oleg Magni on

4 Comments leave one →
  1. November 12, 2018 1:14 pm

    Love it !! Keep up the good work Sandi. Best, Carolyn Last; History on Your Head .

    • November 12, 2018 6:20 pm

      Thank you, Carolyn. I do have one or two other short stories to get finished…Portaloo Massacre, Non Compost Mentis, and Mopaholics Anonymous. 😀

  2. Simon Gore permalink
    November 12, 2018 6:58 pm

    I shall now prowl the shop seeking fake old ladies to apprehend with my trolley. Thanks for the inspiration .

    • November 13, 2018 2:17 pm

      Simon Gore is…The Hairy Detective…! 😀

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